You know the music videos of rappers sitting in exclusive clubs at VIP tables, poppin' champagne, nodding their head to the thumping music? That was the vision for my friend Jodi's 21st birthday. Except the reality was that it was 8 girls, 2 boyfriends, and a mere fifth of Grey Goose (which cost us a cool $350) in a not-so-VIP table.
Jodi set this birthday event up a few weeks back- inviting all the girls, saying that she spoke to Club Royale in Boston and that she had bought a VIP table where we would get our own waitress and a huge bottle of Grey Goose, as well as stay in a hotel room a short taxi ride away- all for $60. Obviously we were all in. She had gone to a friend's birthday a few weeks before, at the club actually downstairs from Royale, called Gilt, and said that it was insane- hence, why she wanted to do the same for her birthday! So, we all got work off, planned rides, and drove down to Boston last Friday night. Alexis and I made astonishing time (35 min...perhaps we were speeding?), proceeded to get lost in South Boston, went through two (not one, two) "DO NOT ENTER" signs, and finally made it to the hotel. Checked in, changed, and Jodi's boyfriend made us delicious mixed drinks to get the night going. When everyone finally made it, we had the hotel call us 2 cabs and we made our way to Tremont Street. Because of our VIP status (brush-dirt-off-shoulder) we were able to cut the line...to where 2 huge bouncers stood, checking ID's. Almost immediately, they turned away one of the girls in our group who was using a fake ID- she began to make a scene, so Alexis and I just ran inside to let someone else handle it. Once inside the lobby, more security shooed us up the grand staircase to the next level, where others from our group were waiting- including a distraught Jodi, who was being told by management that because we were missing people from our group, we'd be charged an extra $180 per person....what? Obviously Jodi and Tommy began to put up a fight. We'd already paid $480 for the table/bottle service, why would we pay any more? After finally getting our way, the girl with the fake had to take a taxi back to the hotel (sad, but isn't that the risk you have to take?) and we proceeded to go up yet another staircase. The club was originally an old theater- they had kept the mahogany staircases, gilded wall fixtures, chandeliers, and red velvet curtains, and the overall effect was quite beautiful- especially for a nightclub! We went up another staircase (no gym needed apparently) and were brought to our VIP table- a long bench on a balcony overlooking the dance floor below, where apparently VIP tables down there cost $5,000 (oh you fancy huh?) We threw our coats down, had Tommy take four pictures of us (unsuccessful because my camera is awesome) and we waited for our waitress to come over. After waiting a good 10 minutes, she finally showed up...holding a fifth of Grey Goose. Immediately, Jodi told her that when she'd made the reservation she'd been promised a "big, huge, over-sized bottle" of vodka, not a fifth that we could buy at the liquor store. The woman- who's boobs were all up in our faces- explained that this is what we were getting, but if we'd like to order another bottle she'd be mooooreeee than happy to provide us with one. "Okay, how much?" "$350." "Are you fucking kidding me?" "I know, it's a little over-priced...." Seriously? A fifth is $40 at the liquor store...an extra $310 seems reasonable, right? Thoroughly pissed off, we asked her to please just pour us drinks. After pouring the 10 of us mixed drinks, the bottle was about 3/4 gone...already. And the weird part was, she didn't leave the bottle at the table with us- but instead kept taking it away and then would bring it back every 15 minutes to see if we wanted more. Ummmm why can't you just leave it? We don't need you and your boobs assistance pouring it, thanks. Realizing that everyone was feeling a little discouraged about the situation, Alexis and I decided that if we'd driven to the city, spent $60, and gotten dressed up, we were going to have a good night- so it was off to the dance floor.
Sketchball city.
Legitimately hundreds of duded gyrating their hips in the hopes that one "lucky" girl would dance with them. Alexis and I were more then content dancing with each other, pumping our fists and shaking our butts for no one but ourselves. One guy slid over to us and casually said, "Are you guys models?!" Laughed. In. His. Face. Then he said, "Hey, at least I tried, right?" And we gave him that much. One Asian guy was dancing so hard that his shirt was dripping sweat and he proceeded to throw his body against mine and then try to kiss me....really?! I ran off the dance floor. Jodi came down from our table eventually and we had a great time dancing with her- definitely make the best of what the night's cards had dealt us. Finally we left the club around 2 AM, and while the others had magically caught a cab, Alexis, 2 other girls, and myself had not been so lucky and we ended up walking 3 blocks trying to flag one down- along the way my butt got more attention then I could have ever wanted (I seriously mean that) and I got asked for my phone number 9 times...by the time we reached the end of the third block we were running into the street trying to grab taxis because we wanted to go home so badly. A police officer decided to be kind enough to get us one and we couldn't thank him enough- yelling out the van window as the Asian driver sped through a yellow light. After a short ride we made it back to the hotel, where Tommy was waiting outside for us- the look of relief on his face when we stepped out of the cab was priceless- must have been concerning to have 4 of your girlfriend's close friends stuck in a busy city, at night, wearing heels and tight dresses. We crashed into bed immediately...
We left at 9 that morning- assuring Jodi that despite all the mishaps, we really did have an awesome time- and we did- Boston never disappoints me (knock on wood). I felt so bad that she'd been screwed out of so much money, had a mediocre waitress, and that some of her friends didn't get into the club- but overall, we had such a good time.
Maybe next time we'll just buy our own bottle and pre-game the shit out of the club...$350 my ass.
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