shit my roommate says

I decided to share some hilarious quotes that I've accumulated over the past three years being at college that are absolutely hilarious and are filed under a Word document titled, "Shit My Roommate Says" much like the famous column "Shit My Dad Says". Here's a sampling of some of them....
Enjoy :)

"I made about $100 and blew it all on alcohol and command strips"
"I think I'm invisible to some people, like when people look at the glare from a solar panel reflection, that's like looking at my skin, you're instantly blinded because I'm so pale"
"Snow forts are for six year olds, this is like snow fort Knox"
"I'm gonna get so wasted and start acting out all the Harry Potter movies...by myself!"
"I guess I'll take her dignity and morals because she's losing both of them tonight"
"Skittles make even a rainy day seem sunny"
"Roommates are only good for two things: plucking eyebrows and cracking backs"
"I was gonna do no-shave-November but it's only been three days and I look like a pedophile"
"I just realized my Dad and I have the same taste in clothing"
"The kid's an animal- he tries to act all quiet and innocent, but give him three Rolling Rocks and it's a different story..."
"He spelled 'Rhode Island' wrong but then I looked at his abs and didn't even care"
"My lifestyle is not working out with macroeconomics right now..."
"He's a black-belt so I wouldn't physically fight him, but I'd tear his emotions apart"
"You're sexy like a box of chocolates"
"Look at that kid, the grave mistakes of first semester freshman year..."